For I am a young girl and you are a man without money ...

Now fine sir, where is it you shall take me?

Is it the mountains high,

or is it the deep blue sea?

Of course I like this song.

Today

6 pm- Olivia texted this to me and I laughed really awkwardly and loud in the hallway at school. I love these two girls so dearly. Praise God that we are relatively health! They will be standing, in one way or another, next to me on my wedding day.

On not dying


The leaves do not fall to their death

they are falling to start a new life.

Today

11 am- The colors on my street.

Yesterday

8 pm- I'd love to tell you this story.

I keep noticing the last things I do

as an unmarried woman ... my last

staff meeting, my last women's group,

my last copy editing class, my last

Wednesday where I work from home

while I catch up on laundry and baking.

But I'm not dying.

Far from it in fact.

Here's to new life!

And here's what I made today.

My own recipe "Pumpkin pumpkin cookies."

1 cup pumpkin puree

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup whole grain flour

1/2 cup Trader Joe's pumpkin pancake mix

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon allspice

1/2 heaping teaspoon of cinnamon

I avoid a mixer as often as possible, this recipe is easy to mix with a fork as long as you do the wet ingredients together first, then the spices, then the flours. Bake for 12 minutes at 350. Try not to eat all the batter.

Ennui

I have slight ennui today.

Come back bright fall sun and vibrant blue sky, red orange yellow leaves.

"This is what the LORD says to the house of Israel,
'Seek me and Live.' "

Amos5:4

Today

8:30 am- Downtown in the morning is oh so charming. I love seeing restaurants wake up with their jazz music that doesn't seem to quite fit but still floats out, and peaceful trucks unload their goods.

Sunday

10:30 am- Breakfast with a great couple. Church. Jake and I made music and rested, rested, rested. I love the Sabbath.

Tonight I realized that my life choices are daunting. To me.

I like a lot of ideas in theory but I'm so afraid to let them become my reality.

My cross is too big, I say, too heavy.

But a small cross is not sufficient for bridging the gap.

I've got to face these things head on, no more can I believe without acting.

Someone once said,

"I've been afraid all my life, but it never stopped me from doing anything."

As I told Harrison,

I felt like a child taking my first step.

And not only because it was being filmed.

I've been watching bands play for about six years now. I've been attending and soaking it all in, essentially taking. And tonight I gave back, tonight was my first show. Under the creative invitation and guidance of Zach, and right alongside Matt. In front of strangers and three of my best friends. Does it get any better?

I filled my first five hours of the day doing a million things, reading, cleaning, being present on my neighborhood streets.

Then I had coffee with a friend who I've been meaning to spend time with for a while, and gushed about fall. The leaves and colors, I can't take it! I'm blessed to witness such beauty.

The show was at Summer Camp, so naturally the picture for today had to be a last look at Jake's bachelor pad:

8 pm

I'm getting to the point where I want life to fast-forward. This is not a new characteristic for me, however I've been at peace about time for a while. Now I want it to fly, as I'm sure it will, if not only through pure intention.

My last note for today is a reflection on mis-matched clothes. Not a new thing for me, either. Stripes, two colors of gray and brown, cut-offs and tights. What I want to say is that I like being surprised by my clothes. I think a lot of people must not be surprised by their clothes because they know what goes with what. But when I dress by feeling, without a plan, clothes teach me that they are capable of far more than we think.