Time is different at a newspaper.

We constantly work in future-tense, dating papers with the week ahead.
It catches me off-guard every time.

Great news and news

So I am still in the middle of a pretty difficult week--by the way where did Monday and Tuesday go? However ...

I have some great news!

This prince will soon be living in Chicago:

And if I can share ... this article won me an honorable mention for an in-depth article at the Illinois College Press Association conference this weekend. It was incredibly humbling to be mentioned because I've learned so much while working at the paper and it's honestly taken a lot out of me. It's just good to know someone out there actually read it, passive voice and all, you know?

(On a side note, you know how when you think about a word for too long it looses its meaning and simply looks like letters? I haven't had that happen to me in a while, but right now the word "news" looks completely new to me!)

... a chance to AMAZE you."

That is what God told me this weekend.

It never occurred to me that it might be
normal to fear graduation, to fear I might
drop off the face of the "potential planet"
and fail miserably in life.
But that is exactly what I've been fearing
since at least December.

And the funny thing about this fear is that
it turned me inside, it drenched my prayers
in self-seeking, self-glorifying plans. How ugly.

I had no faith. And I was self-centered.

"Give me a chance ... really, give me a chance,
Taylor ... Taylor, just give me a chance!"

That's what I heard over and over on Saturday.

And I said, "OK."

And I prayed.
I prayed freely, and
I prayed for other people.
I was outside myself at last!

I may still fail miserably and I may
disappoint, but I will have faith.
I will forget about my plans.

*
In other news, I wasn't cool enough/I never see movies anyway
to see Where the Wild Things Are.
But this song came on the radio this
morning and I adore it!

I slept in until 9:30-where did the day go?-fill-in-the-blanks

1. If I could medal in an olympic event it would be moguls, I love watching mogulists' bodies spring up and down like a very controlled slinky.

2. If I was stranded on a deserted island I'd take Jacob Cole, sunblock, & a library.

3. Pigeons (I really don't like the way you can almost walk on them before they fly up and flutter in your nose ... I am jumpy) are my most irrational fear.

4. I'd rather be outside everyday, than sit at a desk everyday.

5. I am so exhausted from the busiest week of my life, but equally thrilled about going to Winterfest this weeked! I hope to dig deep into scripture and have fun relaxing with my husband and great friends in a fancy hotel.

6. I should really be at work, like every other Friday of my life ... but I am not because we put the newspaper together yesterday and I get a three day weekend!

7. One of my favorite things in all the world is how close we live to lake Michigan! It's probably the first thing I tell people about our neighborhood. The sunlight, big trees covering the road, lack of Starbucks and chain restaurants and being able to walk to THIS in two minutes. Oh, adore!

-This fill in the blank Friday is brought to you by Lauren from TheLittleThingsWeDo.blogspot.com .

My top strength, via fireworks

Once my family moved to Michigan, we adopted a lot of traditions. One of those traditions was watching the 4th of July fireworks with the rest of our town at the high school football field.

Sometimes folks go downtown to catch the bigger fireworks show, and I remember doing that one year in high school. My friends and I could only find a place to sit in an industrial parking lot. It was uncomfortable but we felt the boom and shake of the fireworks deep under our bodies. They reverberated in the cement.

Another year, my best friend Catherine and her mom invited my mom and me to watch the downtown fireworks from the roof of Grand Rapids's tallest building, where Catherine's mom worked. I loved that night. Something really funny happened, a secret between me and my mom ... my mom was such a trooper. We waded through currents of people on the sidewalk and really enjoyed the high-altitude summer air.

But this story is about sticking with the quaint tradition of the high school football field.

The man who lived across the street from us was named Henry. And Henry was a fireman. And the town firemen were in charge of controlling the fireworks. They flooded the area with inches of water in order to prevent a fire and, of course, kept a watchful eye.

Before we found a place to layout our blanket and eat watermelon, my parents took my sisters and I to see Henry behind the scenes. We saw all of the fireworks packed like canons. I hovered over the cannons and looked the bundles of fire eye-to-eye. That was a wonderful night.

However, the wonderful night turned into a stressmosphere after the fireworks. We had to quickly pack our stuff and beat everyone out of the parking lot. When we were that young, my family could flip between getting along well and arguing nastily with a great finesse. After forcing ourselves into the car, all heads counted for, we found a place in the exit line and waited. No sooner than that, my sister realized she was missing a shoe. Yes, a shoe.

Everyone got out of the car again, huffing as we scoured the football field for Morgan's shoe. And back then we didn't have cell phone lights to help us see. It was dark. I don't know how many blessed minutes we looked for her shoe until we found it, but I am thankful for each one.

Once we got back in the car and out onto the street we saw a huge accident. Two cars, in a haste like that of our own family, crashed into each other and things looked ugly.

If the car wasn't silent enough already, we were hushed even more by my mother's words, "Girls ... I saw both of those cars in line behind us and in front of us. If we hadn't gone back to get Morgan's shoe, that really could have been us. You see why I tell you that everything happens for a reason?"

That football field has since been replaced with a new, fancy field.

Henry moved away years ago.

And I realize that sometimes bad things do actually happen and they are awful and painful and nobody wishes for them.

But my mother's words have buried themselves deep into who I am.

So when I bought this book and took this test, I wasn't too surprised to find what they deemed as my top strength:

1. Connectedness:

People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason. They can help others defy the "Us v.s. Them" mentality.

Love day

"Remain in me and I will remain in you."

John 15:5

"And I pray that you,

being rooted and established in love,

may have power, together with all the saints,

to grasp how wide and long and high and deep

is the love of Christ, and to know

this love that surpasses knowledge--

that you may be filled to the measure of

all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:17-19

Peace and grace to you!

Kiss everyone you love!

Happy Love day!

(twin clothings happened yesterday on accident, I swear.)

The party

Some of our background music included "Naked as We Came" by Iron and Wine ...

"You Are the Best Thing" by Ray Lamontagne ...

"Mykonos" by Fleet Foxes ...

"Comtine D'Un Autre Ete" by Yann Tiersen ...

"Stand by Me" by John Lennon ...

"Congo Blues" by Stefano di Battista ...

"Window" by Damien Jurado ...

Billie Holiday's "At Last" by Olivia Johnson for our first dance ...

Brian sang "What a Wonderful World" for our parent dance ...

Rob sang "Everything" by Michael Buble to open the dance floor ...

(The photobooth was epic, a favorite of everyone.)

"Heat Wave" by Martha Reeves ...

(Those are my sisters!)

"Shotgun" by Jr Walker and All Stars ...

"Let it Out (Let it All Hang Out)" by Los Hombres ...

"Can't Help Myself" by The Four Tops ...

"Jackson" by Johnny and June Cash.

Saying those vows

Before, continued

Simply because these really make me smile!

Some of my most vivid memories are of my

time with my dad before the ceremony. Once

everything started, he and I hid in the grandest

of theaters (pictures to come) near the most

ornate stage. He was chatting and I kept going

back and forth between chatting back and saying,

"Sorry daddy but I really can't talk right now!"

And then he would just smile and nod his head.

I kept asking him to peak out and see if everyone

was there, yet. And then we prayed together.

And then my dear Brian stuck his head in the door,

just like he said he would, to tell me I could come

wait in the hall. Everyone had arrived.

Before we were wed

I have declared this week "Love Week!"

Yesterday was our quarter-of-a-year anniversary!

And in a few days, it will be Valentine's Day.

The truth is, we got our wedding pictures back

just two weeks after the wedding. We. love. them.

But we've kept them to ourselves for a little while,

and as family and friends continue to ask to see them...

I will deliver.

Our photographer is a dear friend and we are

so thankful that she blessed us with her talent!

So without further adieu, I'd love to share our

blessed morning with you.

Jake was very adamant about not wanting to see

me before the ceremony. I love his romanticism.

I almost couldn't stand the separation because

everyone kept telling me,

"Jake is SO nervous" and I wanted to run to him

and soothe him. But I didn't. It was really fun to

have our attendants help us move about the building

without seeing each other, it was like we were spies!

Jake's entourage:

My entourage:

And how did I feel that morning? ...

*A teeny note: I've edited a few of these photos for the sole purpose of imagining how we might like to crop them for our wedding album. I have zero skills with photo technology, these pictures are first and foremost the creative work of our dear friend and photographer. I want to be clear because I don't want to ruin her work... I'll probably be going to her very soon for professional advice, but if anything looks off for now you can blame me!

Lockdown

It's funny what you think matters when you're in high school.

I didn't make it into the top choir--the coveted singers--so I

was in the second-best choir for two years.

And I was always certain I'd be thought as and remembered

by my less-than-perfect place in the caste system.

Disregard the love I held for my own choir and director, I was

utterly ashamed for failing to make it to the top.

Anyway, you know who did make it to the top?

My best friend Olivia.

Olivia exceeds at absolutely everything she tries.

That especially goes for music.

So she was the queen and I, her faithful jester.

Olivia picked up the guitar, snowboarding, singing (oh the

singing! she sang at our wedding, you know), chemistry,

math ... and countless boys vied for her heart.

I felt inferior to her talent, but in friendship we were equals!

In our friendship we are mutually creative, mutually goofy,

and mutually supportive. We like almost all of the same things.

We think differently but complimentary.

And sometimes our choirs would practice together.

During one rehearsal the school held a lockdown drill.

Where a fire drill is protocol for a fire and a tornado drill for

a tornado, the lockdown drill comes in handy when someone

shows up to school with a gun in their coat.

So we fell to the ground and our teacher hit the lights.

Olivia instinctively handed me one of her earbuds and played

this song (Gong) from her iPod.

We lay there in the dark, one ear down to the carpeted

cement floor and one ear up, cradling the music in it.

I remember the world falling away.

Never mind the twenty other students in the room.

I was with my best friend,

listening to the best song in the world,

in the dark.

I love this memory. It's perfect.

I remember smiling big.

for the same day on which the Science Times is published, the library had too many books with my name on them.

... i promised myself I'd read more for school this semester, which includes these three books.
so now is when i say farewell to any world that does not exist in ink and page.

PS: i had to give a speech on the "collage of who i am" today and i shook like a leaf.