greater things

Last summer I was not on this side of things.

Last summer I sounded like every other woman

in our country ... "I can do anything a man can."

Then, as Jake and I really started to talk about

getting married, I figured I needed to study up.

I realized that, yes, a woman can do almost

anything a man can (where nature permits)

but that doesn't prove anything.

Why try to prove your strong femininity in

the arena of men?

My mind changed.

Now, I'm still aware that there are some

exceptions to the rule where a man may

be more gifted in things we would normally

consider to be womanly, or a woman gifted

more in what we'd consider manly things.

But I don't think many of us are that exception.

When you step back from what society

tells you that you should do, or tells you

how you should feel, what do you want?

I'd venture to say more women have a

nurturing side than they let on to, they

have been hiding what makes them uniquely

woman for their whole life (like I did)

in order to prove their strength and ability

... by trying to be more like men.

Let me say again that I am NOT an expert.

I'm sharing what I have learned about

myself, and observed in our culture.

So if this is where we are, and I believe it is,

our gender roles are greatly confused.

And it got this way so easily because, like I said,

a woman really can do just about anything

a man can. The question is, should she?

And why would she want to?

My clearest understanding, and trust

that this will all work out, came when I

fully understood this verse:

"Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord ...

Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church

and gave his life up for her."

Ephesians 5

Everyone (me) gets so hung-up on

the first part of that verse that they (me)

don't even think about the connotations

of the second part.

Husbands are called to lay down their life

for their wives.

That's right, and God said he doesn't even

listen to the prayers of husbands who don't

sacrificially love their wives (1 Peter 3).

I'd also like to make the point that this

is between wives and husbands,
one wife,

one husband.

This verse does NOT say

that all women should listen to all men,

or that men are naturally smarter or

stronger or more able than all women.

No no no no no.

It also does NOT say that a girlfriend

has to submit to her boyfriend.

And it does NOT say that a husband is

the final authority, God is.

Fellow church friends and the police

can also put a husband in his place.

Maybe more women would happily embrace

their strong femininity if more men stepped it

up and took on the roles to love and care for

their wives, like Jesus loved the church.

Now that sounds okay to me.

It may be old-fashioned, but I don't think

that I have to remind anyone about the

current state of marriages and divorces

in our "modern and advanced" country.

I admit that am I always still learning.

But I trust the Bible. I trust that our world

was created with an order, not to hinder us

but to help us flourish.

I'll leave you with this beautiful example of

how I long to let the way I am naturally

made, strong and womanly, to let me be

truly free:

As I sit here in the window of this cottage I can see a sailboat skimming silently along the horizon. It is a beautiful image of freedom. But the freedom of the sailboat to move so swiftly and beautifully is the result of obedience to laws. The builder of the boat had to know the proper ratio of the beam to the keel and mast. The one who sails the boat obeys the rules of sailing. A ship tacking against the wind moves deviously, but when she runs with a strong tide or a following wind she takes to herself the power of tide and wind and they become her own. She is doing the thing she was made for. She is free not by disobeying the rules but by obeying them…

This is the crux of the question of liberty and liberation. Does it mean casting off restrictions? (Could a ship sail without them?) Does it mean doing what we feel like doing and not doing what we don’t? It means discipline. It means doing the thing we were meant for. What is it to which we are called, we women (men) under God?”

-Elisabeth Elliot

You know how much I love water and boats.