Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Nearsighted

In many, many ways, I am nearsighted.
I have 20-20 in my eyes but sometimes I think my heart is blind.

The situation: 
"For a wide door for effective service has opened to me, and there are many adversaries." 1Cor.16:9

Paul was able to look past human activity on the surface level, and see God's activity among it all.
I wish I could do that.
Paul saw where he was needed and stayed, knowing his good work would face opposition.

The answer:
"Entonces respondió y me habló diciendo: Esta es palabra de Jehová a Zorobel, que dice: No con ejército, ni con fuerza, sino con mi Espíritu, ha dicho Jehová de los ejércitos." Zechariah4:6

God gave His word and reminded Zechariah that human resources run out, no power or might will do His will, only His spirit.
Only His spirit. 
Sometimes I feel like a decoy, the flawed middle-man, the expensive but lazy employee.

But when I was meditating on these two verses, I found the answer in my body posture.
I immediately closed my eyes and pressed my face onto my bed. I innately began to breath deep, because that's where I think God lives, in breath.
I realized that I am this weary vessel, searching for vast peace and no stimulation. I am so easily distracted by noises and things in the city that fly by, no wonder I can't look beyond it to see God working.

This realization was God's grace and mercy that He teaches us to have on ourselves, because He does.
I am definitely the flawed middle-man, but as I always encourage others, God uses us in our weakness. 
He shines brighter when we are dulled. 
I'm going to start listening to my own advice on this one.

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