greater things

I've had three distinct moments of calling which directed me to the ministry I work with; all three having taken place on the north side of Chicago, and two out of three on the red line train.

Most recently, my calling was affirmed in God's abundant provision after I wrote this post. I'm reading a book in which the author asserts that ministry is not work; we don't work because God's Spirit is working and we're just going along with it. I can't wait until I get to that point. Right now, things sometimes still feel like work. But after writing about how my own resources and logic were getting me nowhere, I set to do the only thing I could do, pray. Three times a day my alarm went off and I said the same prayer, asking God to release me from the bondage of my own mind. And God responded quickly! In two days, the ball was rolling on half the things I was waiting for.

The Hebrew word for glory means weight.

I immediately felt a sense of glory and weight on myself, in the purest form, when I realized what riches God was lavishing on me. I felt exactly like Simon Peter in the story when Jesus miraculously catches fish for him:

"... they came and filled both boats [with fish] so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, 'Go away from me Lord; for I am a sinful man!' For he and his companions were astonished at the catch of fish ..."

Because there's this thing that happens when you encounter the True and Living God. His perfection makes us so aware of our imperfection that all we can do is ask to be made pure. Otherwise it's truly difficult to be in His presence. At least it was for me. The Bible describes it like this:

"The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." John 1:5

Darkness cannot understand light.

Darkness and light cannot coexist. 

Where there is light, there can literally be no darkness.

I sat on the bench at the red line with twenty minutes to kill; I watched sun set and I  felt my shoulders heave downward with it. 

When God is too good to me, the darkness inside of me can only respond by bowing under the weight of glory.

This God of ours is amazing, all things are under His command.

I'm a far way from being converted from my nature's idolatry, but this is an incredible start.